A luxe multicultural Birmingham Alabama wedding shot by Julie Lowry

So when I last blogged, I mentioned that I’ve held off on posting Lizzie and Matt’s wedding for a LONGGGGGG time. The wait was partly because I was waiting for it to be published on Every Last Detail, but also because this wedding was an EPIC event – so epic that it was going to require a monster blog post to cover the 50 shades of awesome that went down, and the thought of attempting to condense it into a single blog post was a daunting one. But I finally took on the challenge, and without further ado, here is the story of the Vietnamese bride from Alabama who married the ginger groom from West Virginia:

wedding rings on vietnamese crown

The day began early at The Redmont Hotel, where bride Lizzie and her girls got ready in a suite overlooking downtown Birmingham. Why so early? In honor of Lizzie’s heritage, they incorporated several Vietnamese wedding elements into their day, including a tea ceremony which was scheduled to take place prior to the church ceremony. Naturally, I was THRILLED – in case you didn’t know, half my family is Vietnamese, so I feel right at home at multi-cultural weddings…especially ones with bilingual wedding invitations and multiple dress changes (more about that later). Seriously, I was having flashbacks of family weddings the entire day.

pink english vietnamese wedding invitation

traditional and vietnamese wedding gowns

bride getting makeup applied by rawwbeauty makeup artist

As Jackie from Rawwbeauty Makeup Artistry finished Lizzie’s makeup, I headed down a few floors to the visit the guys. Since this duo was living in Chicago during wedding planning time, I didn’t have a chance to meet Matt until the day of the wedding. I was really curious to see what he was like because, well, Lizzie is one of those girls you really want to hate, out of sheer envy. Because she’s so awesome. And pretty. And smart. But you just can’t bring yourself to hate her because she’s also so NICE. So I was wondering what kind of guy would be a match for a girl like that? When I arrived to the guys’ room and saw a very tall redhead putting on a traditional Vietnamese outfit for the tea ceremony, I totally got it. I’ve been to a lot of Asian weddings in my lifetime, and I have NEVER seen a groom who wasn’t Asian wear traditional garb. The added bonus? He’s just as nice as she is.

Tea ceremonies are often incorporated into Asian weddings – they vary from one Asian culture to the next, and some couples stick to the rules more than others. If you’ve never seen one, here’s a brief explanation of the basics so you’ll understand what’s happening in the pictures below.

1. The groom and his family go to the bride’s house before the wedding, bearing gifts to present to the bride’s family (i.e. fine liquor, fancy teas), as well as gifts for the bride (often jewelry). The gifts are typically wrapped in red, the good luck color of Asia.

2. The groom’s family formally asks permission from the bride’s family to “take” the bride to marry their son. Assuming the bride’s family agrees, the bride is brought out to join the groom, and the gifts of jewelry are put on her.

3. Then as a gesture of respect, the bride and groom offer tea to each of their elders (grandparents, parents, and sometimes aunts/uncles). In exchange, the elders give advice, blessings, and/or good wishes. After that, the bride and groom go off to the church to make it legal!

Since Lizzie and Matt’s wedding didn’t take place in her hometown, Matt and his family couldn’t go to her house to “get” her. To make things easier, Lizzie’s family used a private meeting room at The Redmont as a substitute. So after a quick review on what to do, Matt, his family, and his groomsmen set off to meet up with Lizzie’s dad. Matt brought a bouquet as one of his gifts for Lizzie, complete with a pin that once belonged to his grandfather.

Upon arrival, Lizzie’s dad met them at the door and Matt’s dad offered him a drink (which was conveniently carried in the same box containing gifts of jewelry for Lizzie). It made me smile to see Matt’s family eager to participate – you could tell they wanted to do things the right way and be respectful of the tradition, even though it was something they had never done before. I just love these peeps.

Clearly, Lizzie’s dad approved, because Matt and his family were invited in, and Lizzie’s mom brought out the beautiful bride, dressed in a Vietnamese wedding ao dai from Cynthia Bui Collection. It was a fabulous modern interpretation of the typical red ao dai (it even had a train) – so fabulous that when Retrofit Republic saw the pictures on my blog from Lizzie’s bridal portrait session, they asked me to see if she’d be willing to loan it to them for a fashion exhibit at the Asian Art Museum of San Francisco!

The Catholic ceremony at The Cathedral of Saint Paul was scheduled to follow the tea ceremony. But first, it was time for a wardrobe change – a black tux for Matt, and a white gown from Allure Bridals for Lizzie (along with Vince Camuto shoes).

Now THIS is how you mix colors and styles for your bridesmaids – Lizzie found these dusty sherbet tones from multiple designers, including Alfred Sung, Dessy, ModCloth, and Amsale.

Just down the street at The Harbert Center, the crew from Wink Design & Events was busy making guests comfortable at cocktail hour while we finished pictures. Once we arrived, the reception was opened to reveal a sea of gold with accents of pink and white, complete with florals by HotHouse Design Studio, and a cake by Sweet Spot Confections swathed in white chiffon.

After a change of jewelry and one of the best hidden bustles I’ve ever seen on a dress, the newlyweds made their entrance and had their first dance. But the first man in a girl’s life is her dad, and during the father daughter dance, it was obvious that Lizzie hadn’t forgotten that.

After a third wardrobe change for Lizzie (this time, a dress by Aidan Mattox that was perfect for dancing), a multi-course dinner by Canton House, and a couple of emotional toasts from the best man and matron of honor, it was time for another Asian wedding tradition – table toasts! I like think of table toasts as an informal, Asian version of a receiving line – the bride and groom visit each table of guests at the reception, one table at a time (usually with few members of the bridal party in tow). One guest at each table (typically the eldest) is responsible for gathering the cards/envelopes from all the other guests at that table (Asian families typically give monetary gifts instead of things from your registry). When the bride and groom arrive at the table, the representative stands up, says a few words on behalf of the group, and presents the stack of envelopes to the bride and groom (which the bride hands off to the maid/matron of honor to put in a bag or basket). The bride and groom toast with the guests at that table, and move on to the next one – but not always. 🙂 Sometimes they get held up by the guests clinking glasses to get them to kiss, or the table gets the groom a shot! Don’t worry, the groom doesn’t necessarily end up hammered – remember how I said a few bridal party members tag along for table toasts? The groom can take the shot himself or pass it along to one of his groomsmen to “take one for the team” so he can keep his wits about him!

Once table toasts were done, it was time to get the party started – and the entire bridal party did just that by surprising everyone with a choreographed routine to Psy’s “Gangnam Style”! Soon the dance floor was full, guests were jumping into a photo booth, and Lizzie got a surprise of her own when a flash mob (led by Lizzie’s sister and matron of honor Mary) formed and danced to One Direction’s “What Makes You Beautiful” in her honor.
Lizzie & Matt: I can’t wait to see what your cute, tall, ginger Asian babies look like. I’m positive they’ll have awesome teeth. 🙂 Thank you so much for letting me be a small part of your big day!